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At Least the Grinch’s Heart Eventually Grew…

with 3 comments

Update: First, his name is Fritzl, not Fritz. Second, he did plead guilty to all charges and will spend the rest of his life in a mental institution. I don’t know how I feel about that. Perhaps 15 years with other prisoners might have been more just than getting to spend the rest of his probably-short life taking psychological tests and having a doctor ask “Well, how does that make you feel?”

Separated at birth? You decide.

josef-fritz_21307c1 300px-howthegrinchstolechristmasbookcover

The “man” on the left is Josef Fritz. (And yes, despite my “news fast,”  I read this article about him because I saw the headline and couldn’t resist, since I’d been following his story from the beginning.) He is the Austrian who held his daughter captive in a basement/dungeon for almost 25 years and fathered seven kids with her… most of whom also lived in the basement.

Here’s an snip from the article about his upcoming trial:

Fritzl, 73, is expected to plead guilty to rape, incest, sequestration and grievous assault for holding his daughter Elisabeth captive in a cellar for almost a quarter of a century and fathering seven children with her.

If found guilty, he faces up to 15 years in prison.

However, his lawyer said he will contest a murder charge, which carries a life sentence, for failing to seek medical aid for a newborn who died. Fritzl says the baby was still-born and he burnt the body in a wood-fired boiler in the cellar.

Under Austrian law, sentences are not cumulative and only the highest one is handed out if a defendant is found guilty on several counts.

Umm, excuse me. WHAT?!?!?! He held her for almost 25 years, and if he is not convicted of murder, the most he will serve for it is 15?! One can only hope if that happens that the other prisoners will mete out the justice that the law won’t.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Fritz.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Fri-iitz.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You’re a monster, Mr. Fritz.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Fritz.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Fritz.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Tritz.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crockodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Fritz.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Fritz.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: “Stink. Stank. Stunk.”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Fritz.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Fritz.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Fritz.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Fritz.

You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
With arsenic sauce.


Written by blogicalinks

March 16, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Posted in Whatever

3 Responses

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  1. Did you see that today he decided to plead guilty to ALL charges, including homicide? So he won’t be out in 15 years now at least.


    March 18, 2009 at 10:41 am

  2. You lost me on the title of this post. I’m not seeing where the heart grew at all.

    My jaw dropped when I read “fifteen years.” WOW. I thought the Austrians really knew how to do punishment. Apparently NOT! The only saving grace in it is that he’s old enough that he’d probably die in prison anyway on a fifteen year sentence. I hope they don’t believe in parole over there.


    March 19, 2009 at 10:20 am

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