blogicalinks

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The Letter I Wish I Could Send to My Boss…and Then, I’m Done

with 9 comments

(Note: I did not compose this. I got it off the Internet. I don’t know to whom credit belongs or I’d give it. Also, my boss’s blog is not mandatory for employees. I had “subscribed” early on, because some of his writings were funny. As they got more inflammatory, and then finally with the one he sent this week, I “unsubscribed.”)

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your speech, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

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Written by blogicalinks

March 13, 2008 at 7:27 pm

Posted in Sharing

9 Responses

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  1. Wow. You are on quite a roll here! Don’t make me link to you every day!

    Hey is some of this from the show “the west wing”? I saw something like that on an episode there.

    titration

    March 13, 2008 at 11:01 pm

  2. Ha! You know i love this kind of thing 🙂 My favorite line? “How should they die?” that one just got me for some reason 🙂

    Oh how i wish you could send this. Though i do worry about your workplace folks finding all of this and having you end up like the dooce.com lady. Not that you sending this sort of letter would change anything, because i’ve become a little more convinced lately that changing other people’s minds, particularly on these sorts of things, is simply impossible and futile. But it’d feel good nonetheless.

    wenzday

    March 13, 2008 at 11:18 pm

  3. Hahahahaha! Perfect! It’s too bad you can’t send this, but it really does point out his hypocrisy. Isn’t it always amazing how some folks latch on to one single point in the Bible and run with it to excess, instead of taking the book as a whole? T.E.G. was notorious for doing that, too.

    Eric

    March 14, 2008 at 7:11 am

  4. You actually read Leviticus? Wow.

    Send that letter anonymously. Or post it someplace and send everyone the link. Just don’t get fired. Six-figure salaries are hard to come by for artists and designers.

    Lynn

    March 14, 2008 at 9:16 am

  5. way to go!!!! i dunno what kind of a position you are in at work, but i think that it WOULD be awesome for you to send that as a letter to your boss without getting fired.

    and i just found the youtube vid where the president on west wing does this yesterday…i think it had a great affect and i think if you were to do it, it would too. =)

    syllystitch

    March 14, 2008 at 12:22 pm

  6. I vaguely remember hearing the West Wing variation of this argument, and never heard any type of coherent response. Presumably because there isn’t one. Can’t it be posted to your boss’ blog anonymously?

    Cara

    March 14, 2008 at 12:32 pm

  7. This is AWESOME!
    This should be published.
    I love the way your mind works.
    This really should be published somewhere.

    Laura

    March 15, 2008 at 2:56 am

  8. I want to let you know that although I have not been commenting on the past few posts, I have been reading them the past few nights on my iPhone with Luis as we head to bed. Since it’s harder to type on it, I keep meaning to comment the next day, but haven’t gotten around to it until now.

    I really enjoyed this post. We were both laughing, almost cackling at so many of the questions.

    I can’t believe that there are people still like this in 2008. The above questions are why you should not take the Bible so literally and that modern day is so incredibly different from when the Bible was written. I feel sorry for your boss. His/her(?) heart seems so cold and dark to me that they would say such horrible things about other people. According to the Bible, we are all God’s children, right? Oh I guess that part was skipped too. I am also sorry that you work for such an a-hole. I couldn’t work for someone so disgusting.

    Although your boss’ blog is freedom of speech, I don’t think that asking your employees to read a very personal and strongly opinionated/hate-filled blog to their employees is legal…?

    Carmen

    March 15, 2008 at 2:04 pm

  9. One more comment – does your boss drink? I’m pretty certain that alcohol is forbidden. If he drinks, then he obviously ignores that part of the Bible. What gives him the authority to enforce only parts of the Bible? Actually, what gives HIM the authority to enforce ANY of th Bible – I’m pretty sure your boss is NOT Jesus incarnate!

    Eric

    March 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm


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