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The Delicate Balance

with 9 comments

23424678.jpgI was talking to a friend recently about how I’ve come to use my blog as my journal. I have kept a journal for several years…sometimes sporadically, sometimes religiously. I have begun to treat my blog the same way, but it’s different.

A journal, of course, is generally private–its contents not to be known to others, unless it is shared. A blog, on the other hand, is all about non-privacy and sharing. However, somewhere along the way, these two things have merged for me. My blog has turned into a creature that I didn’t expect, and reading the blogs of others has led to both flesh-and-blood and cyber friendships.

The side of all of this that concerns me is that the blog is merely a snapshot of who I am/what I’m experiencing at that moment that I chose to sit down and write… as I suppose it is with all of us who blog. There are times when I sit here, and just to stay in the discipline of writing every day, I strain to think of something, anything to write! And then times like last night when the story flows from my fingertips (albeit usually misspelled the faster I type :).

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say… It’s like I don’t know how to “share” thoughts that would have once been kept private. Thoughts that cut to the core of who I am regarding God, spirituality, sex, loneliness, relationships, etc…. I don’t know if I’m sharing too much. Anyone who’s known me long knows that I’ve never been one to hold back, and I’m not good at pretending. So if it so happens that I’m feeling like God is lost to me when I sit down to write, that’s probably what you’ll see here. But I also don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable…neither reading what I’ve written nor in feeling like you MUST respond.

I LOVE getting feedback, and I love hearing your stories, especially when they make me feel like I’m not so alone in my feelings. I welcome diverse points of view. For example, I was telling Dianne the other day, that I am obviously not a fan of President Bush, BUT, I don’t want him to fail. I take no joy in his blunders and trials. I want him to be a good president, to make wise decisions. I don’t give a rat’s ass about his legacy in and of itself. It’s just that when one is president, the cost of bad choices is too high. So if I ever write something that you disagree with, feel free to post a dissenting opinion. I don’t hold extreme views on much of anything and try to temper my strongly-held beliefs with a respect for other opinions…no matter how stupid they are. (Just kidding!!! πŸ™‚

I was talking with my colleague in Pasadena today, and we started talking about how we remembered when an 80 MB hard drive and 512K of RAM was cutting edge technology. More personally than that, I would have never thought that these bits and bytes posted across the Internet for all the world to see would sometimes feel like sitting on the porch talking with friends… and sometimes, it feels like a hug. πŸ™‚


Written by blogicalinks

August 27, 2007 at 8:29 pm

Posted in Sharing

9 Responses

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  1. I completely agree. I have a gazillion half-started journals, but I’ve never kept up with the paper version. During really tough times in the last few years, I’d email myself my thoughts – and sometimes I’ve gone back and re-read them. I have very much enjoyed this new blog experience. I’m still dancing on the edge of how much to say – and I have a more public blog and a more private blog. I still email myself when it’s getting to the deep dark stuff.

    I DEFINITELY agree with the cyber hugs. I have found a world of support from a very diverse group of people in my cyber community. I “talk” to them more than I do anyone else. I’ve compared it to my office water cooler conversations. And, they’ve opened up new worlds to me. The most adventurous has moved to Buenos Aris with her husband and standard poodle. This former model is sharing her adventures in a new country and new culture. I played around with links started with this blog and found several “moving to the country” blogs I enjoyed reading.

    Back to the topic. It’s been a bit scary opening up my thoughts to cyberspace, but I have very much enjoyed the feedback and input and thoughts and others’ stories. I’ve never done the internet dating thing but have really enjoyed the internet getting-to-know-you-and-finding-new-friendships things. I’ve “met” some amazing people – and hope to meet some more of them someday in “real” life. I hope to join up with several of them in California this fall.

    Ru's Mom

    August 27, 2007 at 9:15 pm

  2. I agree, too. I went out to dinner Saturday night with a couple who is all but disconnected from th cyber world. They check e-mail a few times a week, and that’s about it. And here I come talking about Facebook and MySpace and blogs – reading and writing. They couldn’t understand my interest. But I think it’s their loss.

    After my horrible relationship last year, I made a point to stay connected with my current friends and make efforts to make new friends. The cyber world provided a great conduit to do this, and things like Facebook and the blogs give me a chance to let folks know what I’m up to, as well as ways to find new friends. I’m very excited about our community and circle of friends, and I look forward to getting to know all of you more and more – as well as meet more great folks, too!


    August 27, 2007 at 9:42 pm

  3. I wouldn’t know any of you that frequent this blog had it not been for the internet. I met Dianne through and then met all of you through her. The same goes for my husband. I met him online many years ago on a very simple HTML college website. The list goes on with many other friends too.

    I loved having “pen pals” as a young girl, so I guess this is the equivalent?

    Writing consistently is something new to me though. I started to blog only to try it out since Luis was. I’m not great at it, but I love to learn, so I feel I’ve improved and I like learning more about myself as I blog too. The best part is having a fun group of blog friends and reading about their thoughts and lives too. πŸ™‚


    August 27, 2007 at 11:38 pm

  4. I love our little blog community too. It makes me feel very connected to all of you and I’m thankful for that. Facebook is loads of fun too and provides a little snapshot into everyone’s lives. The status messages are like a little bitty blog. If you read them consecutively, you can see what someone has been up to over the course of a day or week or what they have been feeling, etc. Some days (or a lot of them lately) I can’t find the energy to come up with a whole blog post, but I can give you a one liner on Facebook. πŸ™‚ All of it makes me feel connected – and yes, hugged. I hate to say this computer gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, but sometimes it does! It’s the people through the wires though.


    August 28, 2007 at 11:03 am

  5. I panic at the thought of not having a computer. πŸ™‚ I use it for not only information, but to relate to the world. How people connect and interrelate online is fascinating to me. Blogs, e-mail, online gaming, virtual worlds with avatars, none of them existed twenty years ago. And we act like this has been going on forever. For instance, I first found out about the Decatur Book Festival through a group e-mail, sent out by the woman who coordinates volunteers for such events. I checked out the Festival online, then e-mailed her with the task I wanted. She e-mailed back. End result: I will be meeting and working with a group of people in person. Despite the stereotype of the internet addict who is locked inside crouched over their keyboard, I think most people increase their personal connections in a good way, be it in person or online, by using the computer.

    I absolutely LOVE e-mail. The phone? Meh. It’s surprising to me how quickly I’ve fallen into this little group, although not surprising that the initial line was Dianne The Social Connector. She’s just doing the same thing online that she does in the real world.

    Group hug! Okay, that’s enough sharing for me. Not that I don’t like y’all, I just have a low huggy factor.


    August 28, 2007 at 5:32 pm

  6. HUGS! And you know I never used to be a hugger.


    August 29, 2007 at 8:49 am

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    December 1, 2007 at 5:51 am

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